By Steve Sailer
11/08/2019
In 2019, movies are supposed to pass the Bechdel Test, a lesbian-devised dogma which demands that scripts must have lines in which women talk to each other about something other than a man.
For example, Casablanca fails the Bechdel Test. That’s why no woman has ever enjoyed watching Casablanca.
To keep Casablanca from being canceled forever, they should digitally add the following Bechdel Test-Passing dialogue.
Ilsa: Crazy weather we’re having, right?
Yvonne: I always say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity!”
Annina: You said it, sister!
All Three Women: LOL!
Bingo! Casablanca is uncanceled.
But what about movies in which women don’t get any lines at all? Public burning of the last silver nitrate remaining reels is the only solution. Here’s a list from Screen Rant of candidate films:
15 THE THING (John Carpenter’s version)
14 THE GREAT ESCAPE
13 FIRST BLOOD
12 MY DINNER WITH ANDRE
11 12 ANGRY MEN
10 NO ESCAPE
9 ALL IS LOST
8 THE ENEMY BELOW
7 THE LORD OF THE FLIES
6 SLEUTH
5 GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS
4 OUTPOST
3 MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
2 BILLY BUDD
1 LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
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