Britain Calls It Equality, People With Two Brain Cells Call It Stupidity

By Bryanna Bevens

10/17/2006

So there’s this new law across the pond called Britain’s Equality (Age) Regulations and the only thing more ridiculous than the actual existence of these laws is the manner in which some employers are choosing to enforce them.

October 1st ushered in the new regs which basically make employment discrimination on the basis of age illegal — how one feels about government interference with private business is another issue entirely but check this out:

Robert Walters runs a job recruitment agency and employs roughly 1,300 people. Mr. Walters has offices in 14 countries and all of them (not just the UK) received a memo dictating the new guidelines for recruitment.

Advertisements (or any other product designed to attract new applicants) may not include any of the 27 adjectives Mr. Walters has identified and listed as "flattering."

(How precious is this PC world going to get … seriously?)

The no-no list includes "vibrant", "dynamic", "ambitious" and "hungry" which are apparently secret code words for "young", "youngster", "youthful" and "not old."

It gets better … "self-starter" and "experienced" are (of course) verboten while any mention of university education should avoid specifying some of the more "modern" degrees such as "media studies" or "information technology."

Now for my personal favorite …

When seeking applicants for the job of "physical trainer", employees are not allowed to use the words "fit" or "energetic."

Good grief, what attributes can they list for a personal trainer if "fit" is too discriminatory? Perhaps "living" and "breathing" are ok? What will these ads look like?

Something like this I think:

Now seeking men or women (or any other human not covered by either of those labels such as "in between genders" or "both of those genders" for career opportunities in the field of personal fitness trainer. Applicants must be able to fill out a three question application without collapsing from exhaustion.**

**Failure to meet the "not collapsing from exhaustion" criteria may not be used to exclude any applicant who is otherwise qualified for the position — which is to say they are not dead and still breathing on their own … although discrimination against applicants on life-support is of course, also forbidden … especially in the field of fitness training.

Please tell me the end is near …

(Yes, this is a true story … you can read it here.)

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